Working With Me
Honest answers to the questions people usually have before they reach out— about the work, about fit, and about the practical stuff.
If you're here, you've probably already done some version of the work. You know your patterns. You're still stuck.
That gap is exactly where the work begins.
Jump to: For Individuals
For Individuals
If you're here, you've probably already done some version of the work. You know your patterns. You're still stuck. That gap is exactly where I work.
Is this for me?
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DeYes — and honestly, this is often who I work with best. Understanding your patterns intellectually is real progress. It's not nothing. But knowing something about yourself and being able to change it are two genuinely different things.
The defenses we develop to protect ourselves from being hurt are brilliant. They worked. The problem is they keep working long after we've outgrown the circumstances that made them necessary. Sometimes the very thing that once kept us safe is now keeping us from the closeness, or the change, we actually want.
That gap between knowing and changing — that's exactly where this work lives.scription text goes here
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Fit matters more than almost anything else in therapy. My work tends to resonate with people who are genuinely curious about themselves — not just looking for strategies, but interested in understanding why they work the way they do.
You might be a good fit if you:
keep ending up in the same dynamic no matter how different the person seems at first
want real intimacy but find yourself pulling back when it gets close
are queer, trans, or in a non-traditional relationship and want a therapist who doesn't need things explained
are a performer, artist, or creative who lives close to your emotional edge
feel like the version of yourself you're living doesn't quite fit anymore
have done the work — and are still stuck
If any of that sounds familiar, reach out. A consultation can tell us a lot.
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That depends a lot on what your previous therapy was like. Some people have had deeply useful therapy and are coming back for another chapter. Some found it helpful but surface-level. Some felt unseen — like they had to translate themselves the whole time.
My work is psychodynamic and relational, which means we're looking at the deeper patterns — where they came from, what they were built to protect, and how they're showing up now. It's less about coping strategies and more about genuine understanding.
If you've had therapy that felt like going through the motions, or that never quite touched what was actually happening — this might feel different.
The work
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Intellectually alive. We're making meaning together — not just processing feelings, but trying to actually understand them. I'll notice things out loud, offer observations, ask questions you weren't quite expecting. I'm not rushing toward conclusions. But I'm not passive either.
I pay attention to what's underneath the words as much as the words themselves — the pause, the shift in tone, the thing that almost came out. That attentiveness comes partly from my background as a performer and teaching artist. Listening closely, to all of it, is something I've been doing for a long time.
The goal isn't catharsis for its own sake. It's genuine understanding that creates room for something different.
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I think change requires getting genuinely curious about the parts of ourselves we usually avoid — not to dismantle them, but to understand what they were protecting and where they came from.
The defenses we build around shame and hurt are usually doing exactly what they were designed to do. The problem is that they often outlive their usefulness. The thing that once protected you from being hurt can end up keeping you from real intimacy, or drawing you toward exactly the kind of pain you were trying to avoid.
So the work is less about eliminating those parts, and more about getting acquainted with them — cozy, even — so you can start to understand what they need, and what you actually want your patterns and relationships to look like going forward.
The defenses we develop to protect ourselves from being hurt are genuinely brilliant. They worked. The problem is that they keep working long after we've outgrown the circumstances that made them necessary.
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Tell me. I mean that.Feedback isn't a disruption — it's information, and often some of the most important information we have. Navigating rupture and repair within the therapy relationship itself can be one of the most meaningful parts of the work. I take responsibility for helping us move toward repair when something goes sideways.
If something feels misattuned or off, I'd rather know than have you manage it quietly.
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I'm wary of anyone who answers this question with a number. The honest answer is: it depends on what you're carrying, what you want to understand, and how the work unfolds.
This is depth-oriented work, and meaningful change usually takes time. Some people work with me for months; others for years. We check in regularly about how the work is feeling and whether it's meeting your needs. Your pace and your autonomy matter throughout.
Identity and who this space is for
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Yes, fully and without hesitation. I'm a queer therapist. Your identity isn't something we need to work around or spend time explaining — it's the starting point.
This includes anyone exploring sexuality, gender, and belonging; navigating identity transitions; untangling internalized shame; or simply wanting a space where all of who you are is assumed to be welcome rather than accommodated.
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Yes. I work with people in ENM, polyamorous, kink, and BDSM relationships, as well as any other structure that doesn't fit the standard script. You don't need to justify how you love or what you want here.I also work with couples and partners across a range of relationship configurations — navigating conflict, intimacy concerns, betrayal, or questions about the future of the relationship.
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Yes. This is a sex-positive, nonjudgmental space. Desire is one of the most honest things about us — and one of the most loaded. Whatever you bring here won't be too much.
I work with people navigating desire differences, shame around what they want, intimacy that has stalled, or patterns that don't match their values. Nothing here requires a disclaimer before you say it.
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Yes — and this work is close to my heart. Before becoming a clinician, I spent years as a performer and teaching artist. I understand the emotional complexity of creative lives from the inside: visibility, vulnerability, rejection, reinvention, and the particular weight of an identity built around making things.
Whether you're navigating a shift in your creative identity, a block, or the emotional cost of putting yourself out there repeatedly — this is a space that can hold that.
For Couples and Partners
Most couples don't arrive in crisis. They arrive after a long time of not quite saying the thing. Both people knowing something is wrong and neither knowing how to change it.
Sometimes there's been a betrayal. Sometimes it's subtler: a distance that grew so gradually neither of you noticed until it was significant. Both are real. Both are worth bringing.
What brings couples here
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Yes — and that particular dynamic is one I find most interesting to work with. The same fight, over and over, is almost never about the thing it appears to be about. Underneath it is usually something about feeling unseen, or unsafe, or like the relationship can't hold what you actually need.
We work to understand what each person is really reaching for in those moments, and what gets in the way of actually getting it. That's where the cycle can start to shift.
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Yes, and this is actually very common. Distance without visible conflict can be harder to name — it doesn't feel like a crisis, so it's easy to wait too long. But the absence of closeness is its own kind of rupture.
We'd look at what the distance is protecting each of you from, what got quietly put away over time, and whether there's a way back to each other that actually fits who you both are now.
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Yes. Betrayal — whether physical, emotional, or through patterns of deception — is one of the most disorienting things a relationship can go through. It doesn't just break trust in the other person; it can break the story you had about your relationship, and sometimes about yourself.
Some couples come wanting to rebuild. Others aren't sure yet whether that's possible or what they even want. Both are valid starting points. The work involves understanding what happened, what it meant to each of you, and what — if anything — you want to build going forward.
I also work with betrayed partners individually, for people who need a space that's entirely their own while they figure out what they want.
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Yes. You don't need to know what you want before you start — that's often what you're coming to figure out. Therapy isn't only for couples who've decided to stay. It can also be a space to understand what happened, what each person needs, and what an honest path forward looks like — whatever that turns out to be.
Relationship structures and identity
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Yes, and without needing it explained. I work with couples and partners in ENM, open, polyamorous, and kink or BDSM relationships. Your relationship structure isn't a complication we need to work around — it's simply the context we're working within.
The relational and attachment questions that come up in non-monogamous relationships — jealousy, hierarchy, communication, boundaries, trust — are just as real and just as worth exploring as those in any other structure.
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Yes, fully. I'm a queer therapist, and queer couples are a significant part of my practice. This includes same-sex couples, trans and nonbinary partnerships, and any relationship that doesn't fit a heteronormative frame.
The particular pressures that shape queer relationships — from internalized shame and chosen family dynamics to navigating visibility and external stress — are part of the work, not a detour from it.
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Yes. Desire and intimacy are often where relational patterns show up most clearly — and where shame makes things hardest to talk about. Whether you're navigating a mismatch in desire, intimacy that has stalled, or patterns that feel misaligned with what you both want, this is a nonjudgmental space to explore it.
How it works
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It's more common than you'd think, and it's not a dealbreaker. Skepticism often comes from a previous experience that felt unhelpful, or from not knowing what to expect — which is fair. Sometimes the more reluctant partner ends up finding it most useful.
What I ask for is a basic willingness to show up and see what happens. Equal investment at the start isn't required.
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In couples therapy, the relationship itself is the client — not either individual. My role isn't to take sides or determine who's right, but to help both people understand what's happening between them, and what each person is bringing into the dynamic from their own history.
That means attending to both people simultaneously: what each person is feeling, what they're reaching for, what they're reacting to, and how the patterns between them developed. It's a different kind of attention than individual work, and it requires a different kind of presence.
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This is something we'd discuss together before starting. Generally, when I'm working with a couple I don't also see either partner individually, as it can create complications around confidentiality and neutrality. If individual support would be useful, I'm happy to help connect you with a referral.
Fees
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Individual therapy (50 min)$200
Relationship therapy — couples & partners (60 min)$250
I keep a small number of sliding-scale spots open. If cost is standing between you and getting support, reach out — I mean it, and I approach these conversations with openness.
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I'm an out-of-network provider, which means I don't bill insurance directly. I can give you a superbill — an itemized receipt you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement.
Many PPO plans offer meaningful out-of-network mental health coverage. It's worth calling your insurer and asking: "What is my out-of-network outpatient mental health benefit?"
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Yes. I hold a small number of sliding-scale spots for clients who need reduced rates. If cost is a barrier, please reach out — I won't make you justify your situation, and I approach these conversations with care.
Location and logistics
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I'm based in New York City at The Sexuality, Attachment, and Trauma Project, and I'm licensed in New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Please reach out to ask about current in-person and telehealth availability.
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Yes. If you have accessibility needs — sensory, communication-related, or logistical — please let me know when you reach out. I'm happy to collaborate to make sessions work well for you.
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Reach out through the contact page. You don't need to have it figured out — a few sentences about what's bringing you here is enough. I'll follow up to schedule a brief consultation so we can get a sense of fit before committing to ongoing work.
Uncertainty is a fine place to start.